SEX AND THE CITY 2
Alright. So we said this blog is dedicated exclusively to Bollywood movies, but as you are all aware, the line nowadays is getting extremely blurry. Now Slumdog Millionaire and Kites are obvious examples. But if you examine Sex and the City 2 closely, you will notice that this movie is OMG, SO BOLLYWOOD!
We knew we were signing up for a Bollywood experience even before we saw the movie because: 1) We knew were weren’t watching it for the touching storyline, 2) The only real appeal of the movie was the women’s unaffordable clothes and fashions, and 3) Movie length – 2 hours and 27 minutes! These are 3 crucial Bollywood-like movie components. But wait till you read what else we discovered…
+3 points for Aidan’s character who looked so hot. Another +5 points because in typical Bollywood manner, it was evident that the actor had spent considerable time and effort on himself to ensure he looked pretty and dreamy but had no real lines and delivered a sub-par performance at best.
+100 points for the wonderful fashions and the costume changes every 4 minutes – no joke!! The women even embarked on their desert safari in 8 inch heels!! The movie delivered exactly what it promised and women everywhere will thoroughly enjoy the visual clothing, jewelry, bags and accessories feast! [Ok, secret’s out, this blog is written by women!]
+45 for Miranda who delivered a Bollywood performance like a pro. She overacted like she was Govinda in a David Dhawan movie, played the most stereotypical over-enthusiastic-American-tourist, and spoke Arabic at every opportunity in the most horrendous accent you can imagine. In short – a flawless Bollywood-sidekick-comedian performance!
-50 because we lost some of our brain cells to this movie. Any person with a working human brain who spent 2 hours and 27 minutes in the theatre would tire themselves out in an attempt to figure out the vaguest trace of a plot in this movie. Let us save you the damage. There is absolutely no plot. The whole movie is an excuse to show off all pretty things that money can buy – clothes, hats, shoes, vacations, servants, furniture, electronics, swans… hormones.. the list goes on.
-1000 points for actually taking the time to explain, in elaborate detail, terms like hookah and abaya to the audience. What happened to the spirit of the show ‘Sex and the City’ that wikipedia describes as “The quirky series” that “tackled socially relevant issues such as sexually transmitted diseases, safe sex, and promiscuity” and “examined how changing roles and expectations for women affected the characters.” This movie could not have been dumbed down more!
+5 for all the song and dance sequences added into the movie, how very Bollywood. Except, actually –235 for using stale songs (“Single Ladies” and… “I am a woman”!!!) and dancing like its 1959.
-325 for shooting in Morocco and promoting Abu Dhabi! We heard that originally, the movie was supposed to be shot in Dubai, but dah-ling, Dubai was so 2006. Abu Dhabi, on the other hand, was so NOT 2006, or 7, or 8 or this decade or the next!
Overall Score: -1452. Integrating singing and dancing with fashion into a movie that has an excuse for a plot is an art Hollywood is yet to master – much work needed! For all those in Western world critics who are still Bollywood skeptics – we hope you have realized HOW much easier it is to make movies that have a storyline, a realistic setting, and actors who know how to act. Watch Sex and the City 2 at your own risk. We bet you’ll be thinking the same thing we did as we walked out – “this movie could have been SO much better in Bollywood!”